starting today, march 17, 2013, i will be liveblogging everything i do. right now in my life there is no one i talk to frequently enough that they would be upset by me not doing things i had told them i would do. the only person ‘keeping tabs’ on my life is me. as time has been passing i have been feeling an equally out-of-control sensation of my life not belonging to me or something, like it’s just this thing that’s happening, that i don’t seem to be participating in much, and so am sort of failing at it. i witness myself willfully allowing opportunities to fade away from me because i don’t follow through with the tasks necessary to make them happen, because for whatever reason, it is hard for me to make myself do things that i know will make me happy sometimes.
i have no control over getting older but have i some control about the the things i do as i get older. also i feel like my memory is deteriorating. i used to document my daily activities. i feel like that helped me remember things. i even liked doing that. lately i haven’t been feeling like the things i’m doing are worth remembering. but i feel like that could just be a mind trick and if i just start writing more again, i can convince myself those things are worth remembering and everything is basically the same as it was however many years ago it was when i felt more satisfied or hopeful or whatever it is i don’t feel now.
**THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE INTERESTING** **I AM NOT GOING TO TRY TO MAKE THIS SOUND INTERESTING OR TRY TO MAKE YOU LIKE ME OR THINK ABOUT YOU IF YOU ARE READING THIS OR ENJOYING READING THIS, IT’S JUST GOING TO BE WHAT IT IS, IT’S A FUNCTIONAL THING THAT WILL HOPEFULLY HELP ME FEEL MORE LIKE IMPROVING MYSELF**
recently this post became too big to edit as one long document. from now on, all new updates will appear on this page. the most recent ones will be at the bottom. every four days i’ll archive the text on this page and continue to update here. no current plans to stop doing this. thank you for reading.
for questions/comments, i will probably respond faster than if emailed or contacted in any other way: http://ask.fm/meganboyleliveblog
ELECTRIC LITERATURE - interview by juliet escoria
ALT CITIZEN - interview by nasa hadizedeh
THE FADER - “what we’re reading” by duncan cooper
KINJA - me reading an excerpt at KGB bar, december 15, 2013; video by tao lin